Networking with a Service Mindset
I recently met with one of my students from a previous semester. These moments always remind me why I love teaching—staying connected and guiding students as they navigate young adulthood is deeply rewarding. My days are packed: two jobs, family commitments, writing, jiu-jitsu, and volunteer work like Cub Scouts and baseball coaching. Yet, I carve out time for 30-minute chats with students because I understand how crucial these conversations can be during pivotal moments in their lives.
This student was feeling the pressure of his final semester. Graduation looms, and so does the daunting task of finding his first job. One of his biggest questions? How to network effectively in his desired industry. He shared that he had been reaching out on LinkedIn or via email to ask for coffee chats to “pick people’s brains.”
Here’s the problem: even a 15-minute coffee chat is an ask. Time is the most valuable resource we have, and successful professionals often have precious little of it to spare. Starting with an ask—especially when the relationship is nonexistent—can be a dead end.
Start with Service, Not an Ask
I encouraged him to flip the script and approach networking from a place of service. Warren Buffett once shared a story about reaching out to his mentor, Benjamin Graham, after graduating. Buffett offered to work for Graham for free. Graham’s reply? “That’s overpriced.” That’s because Graham understood the immense value of his time and knowledge—so much so that people would have paid to work with him. Today, the same holds true for Buffett, whose lunch auctions raise millions of dollars.
The lesson here? Time is priceless. If you want to connect with someone, don’t lead with an ask. Instead, lead with what you can offer.
Be of Value
Here are some practical ways to offer value:
Make an introduction. Connect them with someone who might be valuable to their network.
Share insights. Provide thoughtful research or information related to their industry.
Extend an invitation. Invite them to a networking event you’re hosting. Even if they decline, the gesture itself builds goodwill.
Share Feedback. Read their work and their posts to provide throughtful comments and feedback.
Networking requires persistence—but the right kind of persistence. Light, consistent touches that demonstrate value can gradually turn a stranger into an ally. Eventually, people will feel invested in you because of the value you’ve brought to their lives.
The Internship Hack
I often ask my students how many of them have done internships. Most have, given they’re upperclassmen. I then propose a thought experiment: imagine reaching out to your former manager months after your internship ends to share that you’re still working on problems from your internship, simply because you’re passionate about them.
This simple gesture would blow most managers away. It demonstrates dedication, passion, and an ability to go above and beyond. For many hiring managers, this level of commitment makes it hard not to hire you.
Show Your Hunger
When I applied to work at Apple, I was given a business case and told to spend about four hours on it. I didn’t spend four hours. I spent nearly every waking moment that weekend producing a 26-page, graduate-level analysis. It included customer journey maps, a risk analysis matrix, and detailed research. Why? Because I wanted to make it clear just how much I wanted the job.
This approach worked, and it can work for you too. When you’re starting a company or launching a new venture, you often work for free for a long time. The same mindset should apply when you’re breaking into a new industry or job.
Final Thoughts
Networking isn’t about extracting value—it’s about creating it. Start from a place of service, show your dedication, and demonstrate your passion. These strategies will help you build meaningful connections and stand out in a crowded marketplace.
