Running Out of Time
We Can't Do It All
I just returned from Enchanted Rock with my son’s Cub Scout troop. Nothing says “character building” like being voluntold last minute to plan activities while juggling work deadlines and midterm presentations. But here’s the thing about leadership: it rarely arrives at a convenient time. The weekend was a win – kids had a blast, no one got lost, only a few cactus incidents, and I managed to keep my sanity intact. I even got Sage to his baseball team’s pictures on time.
The Leadership Myth
People constantly ask me how I “do it all.” I run a team at Apple Pay (management), teach over 70 undergraduates (higher ed), write this newsletter (media), coach baseball (youth sports), lead Cub Scout adventures (outdoors), maintain a workout regimen (health), and attempt to be a present husband and father (life). My wrists hurt just typing that list.
But here’s the truth: I don’t do it all. Not even close. If I am frank with myself, I am probably good but not great in any of those things. In Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, Oliver Burkeman reminds us that trying to gain total control over every aspect of our lives only leads to more stress. He writes, “The more you try to manage your time with the goal of achieving mastery over it, the more stressful and overwhelming life gets. Real peace comes from abandoning the fantasy of ‘total control’ and embracing life’s unpredictability.”
This quote resonates with me because it highlights the reality that leadership, and life in general, isn’t about controlling every outcome. It’s about managing the unpredictability and embracing what you can’t control.
This idea that leaders can or should “do it all” is a myth. Instead, leadership is about making choices. The activities I engage in aren’t a matter of “doing it all” but choosing what matters most to me. Which brings me to the real issue…
The Great Time Fallacy
We all have the same 24 hours as Elon Musk, yet the “I don’t have time” excuse remains common. It’s not a lack of time but a reflection of our priorities. As leaders and adults, we aren’t forced to do anything—we make trades based on what we value most. “I have to work” is really “I choose to work because I value financial security over other activities.” “I have to get over 7 hours of sleep” is “I choose to give my body time to rest, have more focus, and energy the next day.”
This is where leadership shows up again: in our daily trade-offs. Leadership is choosing wisely and balancing what we value now with what we hope for in the future—in other words, our sacrifice today for our future gain.
The Economics of Everything
Every want comes with a corresponding sacrifice. Writing a book? Trade sleep. Climbing the corporate ladder? Trade family time. Want six-pack abs? Trade carbs and comfort. The path to everything you want is paved with things you’ll need to give up. As leaders, we’re constantly making these trades, often sacrificing today for something we hope will pay off tomorrow. But ask yourself, are you prepared for what you gave up?
Leadership also requires owning those choices. If you’re working long hours and saying it’s “for the family,” ask yourself what you’re really prioritizing—status, success, or money? And when you’re up late scrolling Instagram or TikTok at 2 am, you choose short-term dopamine hits over long-term health. Leaders own their decisions, even when those decisions come with trade-offs.
The Allocation Problem
So, how do we align our values with our 168 weekly hours? It starts with brutal honesty about what we actually want. Leadership means making clear, intentional choices, whether it’s quality family time, wealth, or recognition. As Professor Scott Galloway says, “You can have it all—just not all at once.”
The earlier we are in our careers, the more we must focus on going deep, not wide. Expertise and skill building are about mastering one thing before expanding. As you gain mastery, your leadership evolves into serving others—whether that’s managing a team, teaching students, or volunteering for your kids.
The Life Stages Strategy
As we progress through life, leadership takes on new forms. When you’re young, it’s about personal growth and accumulation. But as you grow older and more experienced, leadership becomes more about giving back. Life reaches its apex when you transition from accumulation to distribution. How much of your activities are you giving rather than taking? This includes your relationships.
That’s where I find myself now—most activities involve giving rather than taking. Whether coaching baseball, teaching undergrads, building relationships, or writing, leadership is about sharing what you’ve learned and putting others first. Going to UT Football games, well, that’s still for me.
Conclusion
Time is the only nonrenewable resource we have. Leadership is about allocating it well and balancing short-term goals and long-term aspirations. So, get clear on your values, make the right trades, and remember—growth isn’t about what you take but what you give. Time is finite. Choose wisely.
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