I was recently listening to the My First Million podcast when Shaan Puri shared one of his “shower thoughts.” He said the best framework for life is to:
Ignore the past
Be realistic about the present
Be delusional about the future
I found this incredibly profound. It aligns closely with how I believe people should approach life.
Ignore the Past
Ignoring the past doesn’t mean erasing history or forgetting lessons learned. Of course, we need to reflect on our mistakes to grow. But too many people don’t just visit their past, they vacation there. Some even take up permanent residence.
I’ve long believed that depression comes from living too much in the past, while anxiety comes from living too much in the future. People who dwell on their past, regretting, reliving, or replaying old wounds, remain unhappy because the past is unchangeable. No matter how much you analyze it, rewrite it in your head, or wish things had gone differently, it’s done. Harping on the past will only make you more miserable.
One of my favorite books, The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga, explores the theories of Alfred Adler through a dialogue between a philosopher and an unhappy young man. Adler’s psychology, now more of a philosophy, was often seen as the opposite of Sigmund Freud’s. Freud believed that childhood trauma dictates much of adult behavior. Adler believed that people shape their own destiny through choice and mindset, what he called “individual psychology.”
Adler introduced several profound ideas:
All problems are interpersonal relationship problems.
Teleology: We subconsciously choose our lifestyle, and free will matters more than past determinism.
The Inferiority Complex: Many behaviors stem from feeling lesser than others. This feeling can also manifest in the form of a “superiority complex” as well.
But the lesson that stuck with me the most? Life is a series of moments, like a dance. You can’t control the past, and you can’t control the future, you can only control right now.
Be Realistic About the Present
There’s really only one thing we can control: our breath.
Your breath is a tool. It can regulate your mental and physical state. Focusing on your breath can:
Induce a meditative state
Reduce stress
Calm your nervous system
Improve cognitive function
We can’t control other people, although we try. We can’t control outcomes. Hell, sometimes we can’t even control our own emotions. But we can control how we breathe. Practices like box breathing or Wim Hof breathing help us stay present, manage stress, and think more clearly.
And then there’s gratitude. Gratitude has become a buzzword, hijacked by wellness influencers, but that doesn’t make it less important. When we get stuck in a loop of stress, fear, or negativity, gratitude snaps us out of it. It shifts our focus from what’s missing to what’s here, right now.
That’s not to say your problems aren’t real. But taking stock of what’s good in your life grounds you in the present instead of being lost in regret or anxiety.
Be Delusional About the Future
There’s an unspoken word in the phrase “Delusional about the future.” It should really be:
Be delusionally optimistic about the future.
To create meaningful change, a little delusion is necessary. You have to believe in your vision before anyone else does.
No one starts building something if they assume it will fail. Most founders, creators, and innovators are seen as crazy, until they’re called geniuses for doing the same thing they were ridiculed for.
MrBeast was dismissed as a “YouTube nerd” when he first started making videos. Years later, after doing the same thing over and over, he became one of the most famous people on the planet.
Of course, worrying too much about the future creates anxiety. As comedian Bill Burr put it:
“You’re gonna be fine. And even if you’re not gonna be fine, isn’t it better to just exist thinking you’re gonna be fine until it’s not fine? And then, when it’s not fine, you can handle it then. There’s no sense in ruining right now.”
There’s value in planning for the future. But there’s no value in worrying about it. If you’ve done the planning, you’re covered. Worrying adds nothing.
The Power of Presence
None of this is easy. We’re wired to escape the present moment. We scroll our phones, binge podcasts, check email, all to distract ourselves from reality.
Why? Because we’ve lost the ability to be bored.
But boredom is where creativity lives. It’s where shower thoughts are born. When we let ourselves be still, our imagination kicks in. We start to think. To dream. To create.
So be realistic about where you are right now.
You’re here. You’re breathing. You’re alive.
That won’t always be the case. But don’t worry about that, it’s not your time yet.
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